A long time ago when the world was younger than it is today, there lived a young Lady named Eleanor, who was the daughter of the Duke of Aquataine, a small province in a Kingdom called France. Actually, Aquataine took up half of the Kingdom, but it was still not huge.
This young Lady had the good fortune to be the only child of the Duke of Aquataine's son, and since her father was dead, she was the heir to the Duchy (Dukedom). She was also "the most beautiful woman of her age". She also was a brilliant woman, and a lover of poetry and dancing.
All this worked out to attract the attentions of a young man named Louis, who happened to be the King of France.
Louis succeeded in convincing young Eleanor and her grandfather that being Queen of one of the most powerful nations on earth (for France was that at the time) was a Good Idea, and he married the girl.
Eleanor's grandfather died shortly thereafter, and Eleanor became not only Queen of the French, but the Duchess of Aquitaine. In addition to being the most beautiful, she had become, to put it bluntly, the richest and most powerful woman in the world.
Unfortunately for Eleanor, though she had a baby, the baby was a girl. And, although she loved the child greatly, it would not do as an heir to the throne of France. So, as the years passed, Louis decided that it would be "the Right Thing to Do" to divorce his wife for someone that could have a boy child.
This despite the fact (or partly perhaps because of it) that His Queen rode south with him on his Crusade. She went bare back.
Her, not the horse. I am told it was a site to behold.
Well, it just so happened that this plan of Louis' to set her aside suited Eleanor to a tee. It seemed that she had just met a young man named Henry, Duke of Normandy, a vassal of her husbands', who happened to be King of England on the side.
Henry and Eleanor were in LOVE. In love with power, in love with wealth, in love with gold, in love with silver... and to top it all off, they even loved each other.
Eleanor decided that the best way for an ex-wife to be a pain in the side to her former husband was to take her half of the Kingdom and give it to his arch rival, the King of England.
And this she did.
She also managed to give her new husband a few sons. Henry (Crown Prince), Richard, Geoffrey, and John.
The first of these, Henry (who would have been the third of that name to rule England) died when he was rather young, so Richard, the second oldest, was thought to be the natural Next King.
King Henry, however, didn't like the idea, since Eleanor had raised him to be loyal to herself and not to him.
The King preferred John, even though John's favorite pass time was having State executions for rats he caught in the basement. Of course, at the time, this was to be preferred over some of Richard's enjoyments, which were decidedly less Manly.
Geoffrey was ignored by both parties, since he was rather normal, by comparison to his brothers.
Eleanor thought that it would be a grand idea to stir up a little excitement in the Kingdom, and so she took Richard and declared war on Henry, her husband. She got a fair way toward London, where Henry was stationed, but was defeated and captured. She was then locked up in a tower in the north and only let out for serious state occasions, if then.
After many many years, Henry died, and Richard did manage to become King. He did not like England very much though, and so immediately went off on Crusade, leaving John as Regent. This is what is known in political circles as a bad move.
John managed to take over the country, so when Richard finally died, there was no choice but to name John as King of England.
John was terrible as King. He over taxed, over abused and under appreciated the people of his Kingdom until the Lords finally decided to take over (One of the few times when the Lords were revolting rather than the peasants). They forced John to decide to either abdicate or sign the first written constitution, known as the Magna Carta (Great Charter). Sign he did, and away went the absolute Monarchy in England, and the American Revolutionaries would have something to base their constitution on in six hundred years.
And, Britain lived happily ever after. At least for a couple of years, anyway. But that's another story.
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Original content copyright 1995-2007 Robert B. Hole, Jr. All Rights Reserved